The Statistics

21 countries in 171 days
31,000 km on the road
1,700 litres of fuel
50 UNESCO World Heritage sites
14 pairs of shoes
11 international flights and ferries
8 new ways to say "hello"
6 travel guidebooks
5 rental cars (with no damage expenses!!)
2 very tired but very happy travellers
1 honeymoon to remember for a lifetime.

The Travelogues

Our top 100 most amazing things we saw or otherwise encountered during our trip.

1. The SLOW DECAY of the ROMAN EMPIRE, with:
   an economic bubble of rampant consumerism gone bust;
   heavy reliance on imported goods (grain from Africa);
   a population largely employed in superfluous service industries (lawyers, accountants, entertainers) or dependent on welfare;
   and a culture that degraded until violent bloodsports and pornography were the most popular forms of entertainment
2. The sheer, horrible size of AUSCHWITZ-BIRKENAU
3. GERNIKA - the town, memorials and the painting
4. Indulging in the peacefulness of CORDOBA'S MEZQUITA, and seeing it shattered at 10:00am when the tour groups arrive
5. Prague's first ever GAY PRIDE PARADE - not quite the party they have in Sydney, thousands turned up to march for freedom of expression in the face of counter-protests and despite condemnation by the President. Bravo Prague!
6. The complexity of aromas and flavours in a 40 year old TAWNY PORT
7. The technical precision and creativity demonstrated in a 2 MICHELIN STAR LUNCH
8. Threading an Opel Astra wagon through the eye of a LUBERON BACK ROAD
9. ST PETER'S BASILICA in Vatican City - warm and inviting, and with artworks that have to be seen to be believed
10. BUFFALO MOZARELLA - just try it one day, it speaks for itself!


11. The SISTINE CHAPEL ceiling, and the hours of queuing it took us to get there
12. TINY VILLAGES clinging to oceanside cliffs (Cinque Terre and Amalfi Coast)
13. Neolithic PASSAGE TOMBS
14. STONEHENGE AT SUNSET, without tourists!
15. The SALVADOR DALI Museum
16. PARALLEL PARKING with cm to spare (oh yes, we did!!)
17. CENTURIES OLD SURREALISM in Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights
18. The VALETS AT THE MONTE CARLO CASINO, moving one very expensive car to make room for an even more expensive car
19. The BASQUE language, distinct from any known language family in current use
20. ITALIAN GELATO


21. Seeing PICASSOS, MONETS, VAN GOGHS and EL GRECOS in every major city
22. The spectacle that is FATIMA (of the apparitions)
23. AFFORDABILITY of real estate in the French Riviera compared to Australia
24. Eerie POMPEI, with a town square, roads, take-out food counters and a brothel that could all still be used today (if you add a mattress to the stone bed!)
25. Peter's MOM'S HOME COOKING
26. Ireland's Heritage Card, the BEST VALUE MULTI-ATTRACTION PASS in Europe
27. KIDS DANGLING THEIR LEGS OFF PREIKESTOLEN and the idiot parents encouraging them
28. The ROUNDABOUT near Stansted airport - do they honestly expect tourists to be able to figure out how to use it??
29. Becoming a FAN OF THE POPE for a day in Vatican City
30. PRICES in a prosperous oil economy (Norway)


31. The barbaric entertainment that went on at the COLOSSEUM, if you really think about it
32. The fairytale turrets of NEUSCHWANSTEIN
33. The WIELICZKA SALT MINE, decorated with sculptures carved from salt rock and a magnificent underground cathedral (also carved from salt)
34. The LINGERING SCANDINAVIAN SUNSET for many hours each evening
35. The enormous STADIUM SEATING outside Edinburgh Castle, erected and dismantled annually over 3-4 months for the Tattoo
36. PETER'S COOL, CALM DRIVING and KIMI'S WHITE-KNUCKLE PASSENG-ING on the Amalfi Coast
37. Our TOMTOM GPS NAVIGATOR (TOMMY) and his Live Services - predicts arrival times with astonishing precision (give or take a traffic light), although he'll happily risk our lives to save a minute or two
38. Hanging out with the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (a Michelangelo here, a Raphael there.....)
39. How few words are required to OVERCOME A LANGUAGE BARRIER
40. Dramatic LANDSCAPES REFLECTED in still bodies of water, best observed in Norway and England's Lake District


41. TRAFFIC LANES in Spain that (dis)appear at random and giant roundabouts with no lanes at all
42. The numerous PILGRIM ROUTES to Santiago de Compostela
43. HALF-CONSTRUCTED FREEWAYS marked as complete on official Spanish road maps
44. The extent of the ROMAN EMPIRE in its heydey
45. Watching Natural Selection in action among the DRIVERS IN POLAND
46. CYCLISTS in the French Alps
47. Experiencing CULTURE SHOCK after driving for an hour or two
48. The grandeur of the ALHAMBRA in Granada
49. MARZAPAN in Toledo - unlike anywhere else
50. The MIST on Dartmoor (impressive mists and fog can also be found in Southern Sweden, across the Baltic, in Munich and the Czech Republic)


51. Castle TOILETS and the importance of excrement in the middle ages
52. The GUGGENHEIM, Bilbao, best enjoyed after a bottle of cheap, nasty wine
53. A customer hoping to break A 500EUR NOTE at a supermarket in Monaco
54. The humorous, bordering on ridiculous TELEVISION GAME SHOWS in Germany
55. PEOPLE STILL SMOKING in restaurants in 2011
56. A spontaneous performance of the local PIPES AND DRUMS BAND in Inverness
57. The monolithic DOLMEN in Evora, Portugal, one of the largest in the world
58. TOURISTS OUT OF THEIR DEPTH:
    In a pizzeria in Southern France:
    Waiter: What would you like to drink? British tourist: Have you got Dom Perignon?
    Waiter: We have San Pellegrino, will that do?
    British tourist: Yes, that's it!
59. Cities made of MARBLE (Portugal)
60. The life-threatening NATIONAL TOURIST ROUTE around Hardangerfjord - still speechless about this one, suffice to say we're glad we survived!


61. DESCENDING INTO CHAOS minutes after crossing the border from Switzerland to Italy
62. The SHOPPING FRENZY in Andorra's town centre, thanks to their duty-free status
63. The HIGHLAND FOLK MUSEUM, unique thanks to it's enthusiastic and committed staff
64. The many landscapes of TORRE (1993m or 2000m if you include the 7m obelisk at the summit)
65. Traditional methods of making ROQUEFORT CHEESE
66. Engineering marvels in the Norwegian network of TUNNELS and BRIDGES
67. OFFENDING YOUR FRENCH HOST with a simple clarification of the bill
68. Just how far you can stretch your LAST 7 PLN before crossing the border
69. UPPSALA FORTRESS - built to defend against domestic attacks, it's canons are pointed at the town Cathedral (also reminds the church who is really in control)
70. The spires of PRAGUE'S CITY SKYLINE


71. Just how difficult it is to find GOOD AUTHENTIC ITALIAN FOOD in Italy
72. The VOLUME OF FOOD you receive when you do find the real deal
73. The HIGH-THROUGHPUT SERVICE STATION in Andorra just across the border from France
74. The REVIEW SYSTEMS of Tripadvisor and hotel booking websites, making and breaking businesses the world over
75. MICROSTATES and the complicated stories that explain their existence
76. MONOLITHIC art (ships made from standing stones and the like)
77. NARROW STREETS in Spain and dented cars to match
78. RECYCLING AND RENEWABLE ENERGY without any industries collapsing or anyone's way of life "destroyed" (wake up Australia, it really isn't that hard)
79. THREE COURSE MENUS including wine for <$15 AUD
80. A rock more BRITISH than Britain (Gibraltar)


81. SNOW in June (in Andorra)
82. The brilliant idea of turning Monaco's streets into a FORMULA ONE RACETRACK
83. Just how dangerous mini-refrigerators are in small cabins: most noticeable when WAKING UP CHOKING ON AMMONIA GAS
84. The RESTORED FACADES of historic buildings completely decimated in WWII
85. The AQUEDUCT in Segovia
86. COMFORTABLE ACCOMMODATION (4*) for an average of 45EUR per night
87. The TEMPERATURE CHANGE of approximately 10oC upon crossing the borders into Portugal (from Spain) and Sweden (from Norway)
88. Portugese MULTILINGUALISM - it seems television is not dubbed to Portugese, despite the millions of native speakers in Brazil
89. EFFICIENCY in restaurants
90. BEACHES with no public access whatsoever on the Riviera


91. Still flying with RYANAIR no matter how many times they treat us like crap
92. That once upon a time Germany actually thought the EURO would be a good idea
93. The ROYAL HIGHLAND SHOW, the most underwhelming attraction we visited all trip
94. The NEAREST RAINBOW we've ever seen, over a Norwegian Fjord
95. The power of a Swedish ICEBREAKER
96. PENIS-PHOBIA in Catholic Italy, from secret cabinets and fig leaves to Adam's tiny package
97. The PRO-PENIS SPIRIT of pre-Catholic Italy (erotic art retrieved from Pompeii)
98. CESKY KRUMLOW - a castle completely disproportionate to the tiny village where it is situated
99. VESPAS in Naples with complete disregard for traffic signals, laws or pedestrians
100. STILL GETTING ALONG with each other after living in each others' pockets for 6 months

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